50 Things About Myself

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Part I.

1. My first job involved pulling weeds out of sidewalk. And a lady who used to come by in a golf cart to yell at me. I quit after a week.

2. I’m the oldest of 3 siblings. I’ve always thought that being the eldest child was like being the crash test dummy for new parents. I’m not too screwed up, alhamdulillah.

3. I was on YTV’s Uh-Oh once. The outdoor part. Remember that show?

4. I don’t wear anything with logos or anyone’s name on it. I don’t want to be a walking billboard.

5. I can swear in Russian.

6. I beat a guy up in the sixth grade. We cried together.

7. Tea = happiness.

8. Tea + curling up with a good book = even better.

9. I’ve never been on vacation. I can’t say I miss something I’ve never tried.

10. I was born in Meppel, Holland.

11. I’m not related to Mohamed Aidid, the warlord, but that’s the same name as my dad. In the past, it’s led to some confusion. Are you related to Mohamed Aidid? Yes! Really?!? You’re related to the guy wanted by the US in 1993? Uhh, no…

12. I absolutely cannot stand bananas, even the smell. I’m told that I can’t really be Somali unless I enjoy ‘baaris iyo moos’. Tough.

13. I’m listed as a member of the Christian club in my grade 10 yearbook. In all honesty, I did go a couple times to hear what they had to say. I usually ended up in arguments with the head teacher, who, among other things, believed dinosaurs still exist.

14. Grape drink, not grape juice. Dave Chappelle was right.

15. I don’t find anything more irritating than ignorance. Stupid people I can tolerate, since intelligence is something you have no control over. You have no excuse for being ignorant.

16. I love the smell of fresh paper. I have no idea why, but I do.

17. As a kid, I had a friend named Matthew. He used to kill bugs for fun, with sewing needles. Then he killed his dog. I read not too long ago that it’s one of the known signs of a psychopath and future serial killer. I remember his last name, just in case he’s on the news.

18. I went to an elementary school in Ottawa that had no walls. Seriously.

19. On that note, I survived the ice storm that year. Which is why I reserve the right to laugh at anyone who complains about the snow here in Toronto.

20. The optic nerve in my left eye twists around like a pretzel. My doctor says he’s never seen anything like it. It’s harmless, but FREAKIN AWESOME.

21. I’ve never understood why I have to make my bed. You fix it up, just to sleep in it later and start all over. And I’ve read it’s actually healthier to leave it messy. But I do it anyway.

22. And I also don’t understand the appeal of funnel cake. It smells good, but I thought it was terrible when I actually tried it.

23. My mom’s bedtime stories were usually about a woman who would eat children. To this day, I have no idea why she told me that stuff. It gave me nightmares.

24. A woman with one tooth yelled at me once when I was a cashier. I can’t remember a thing she said or why, since I was so focused on the tooth.

25. I’m afraid of spiders. And butterflies, only because they’re really spiders with wings, if you look close enough.

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